We recently had the opportunity to interview Amy via email about her book Opting In: Having a Child Without Losing Yourself
MOTHERS: Amy, could you briefly describe how the "mothers movement" is different from the "women's (i.e. feminist) movement?
Amy: Both the mothers movement and the feminist movement are political movements -- to the extent that they are trying to correct social injustices or propose new directions that are inclusive of communities previously shut out of or not prioritized within mainstream society. Both movements also prioritize women and women's experiences. I think where they differ is that while feminism is a multi-issue movement, the mothers movement is prioritizing issues affecting mothers. And perhaps because of the existence of the mother's movement, I think that feminism has slacked on prioritizing mothers. Historically, feminism did a much better job of focusing on the rights of mothers and perhaps it's due to the success and independence of the mothers movement that they are allowed to slack.
MOTHERS: What work/life policies do you think could most open up the full range of opportunities to mothers, and others who parent?
Paid leave seems to be at the top of most people's list. As is, paid leave is left to the discretion of the employer and though if often is in their best interest, without government encouragement most employers opt not to take this initiative on their own. I also think that we have to redefine work to being about "goals accomplished" not necessarily about "hours worked." As is, we emphasize the latter and thus often prolong our days merely to prove that we can or to complete that task. Employees who are given flexibility in determining their work days are often as productive--if not more so, if in part just to prove that they can be. Employees should be incentived not exclusively with more important titles and more money, but with more autonomy.
MOTHERS: At MOTHERS, we too strive for the day when "women....feel entitled to ask for respect, attention, and choices....all the time and for themselves." (p. 107)We also agree that progress hinges upon individual women insisting upon change, fully confident of the rightness and merit of their desire. What must women believe before they will take that step? Can the mothers' movement help them form those beliefs? And if so, how?
Amy: The responsibilities that parenting requires aren't fully respected in society. Superficially we think that parenting is the most important job, but we often don't substantiate that with support -- either financial or emotional -- and thus end up minimizing the importance or value of parenting. And while government and employer support is important, I also think that we should believe in the change we ask for. And sadly, I don't think parenting is undervalued because of the job itself, but because it is a job primarily undertaken by women. If you look at all professions that are female dominated (nursing, teaching, bookkeeping, child care, etc...), they are undervalued professions -- while jobs dominated by men are more valued. That said, I think that more men taking on parenting could make the job more valuable.
MOTHERS: Why don't we feel good about the choices we make as parents, whether it's working outside the home or using disposable diapers? Is it external (media, parents, employers, friends, etc.) or internal?
Amy: I think that women are very insecure -- in part because society gives us a very narrow range of what is acceptable behavior for women. While men are allowed to be diverse, women are encouraged to conform. And this can be threatening to women and a natural reaction to that is to feel threatening by those who seem to be stepping outside the natural bounds and also we tend to blame other women for narrowing our choices rather than society -- or even ourselves take responsibility. To help us get over our insecurity, we try to get other people to make the same choices. And of course that's not productive, so I hope that women can begin to see their choices as complements to one another.
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