MOTHERS Book Bag

Opting In: Having a Child Without Losing Yourself

By now, we've all heard about - and sick to death of - the 2004 New York Times Magazine's cover story "The Opt-Out Revolution" that claimed that America's most educated women are choosing motherhood over careers. In fact, "opting out," "off-ramping" and "getting on the mommy track" have all become part of the popular lexicon to describe women who leave their jobs to stay at home with children.

Speaking from the vantage point of someone who is both a parent and a feminist activist, author Amy Richards in Opting In: Having a Child Without Losing Yourself, addresses the anxiety over parenting that women face today. Should they stay home or go to work? Can they do both? And do it well?

Amy also covers topics that concern women facing motherhood - the truth about biological clocks and the trends toward extending fertility, parenting with nature and nurturing in mind, our relationship with our mothers, the role of fathers in parenting, and what feminism’s relationship to motherhood is.

This summer as the kids play by the pool - or as you take your lunch break at the office - grab a quiet spot and dig into Opting In: Having a Child Without Losing Yourself with MOTHERS.

To read an excerpt of Opting In, go to The Drive to Procreate: Reexamining the Biological Clock at Feminist.com.

MOTHERS interviews Amy Richards

We recently had the opportunity to interview Amy via email about her book Opting In: Having a Child Without Losing Yourself.

MOTHERS: Amy, could you briefly describe how the "mothers movement" is different from the "women's (i.e. feminist) movement?

Amy: Both the mothers movement and the feminist movement are political movements -- to the extent that they are trying to correct social injustices or propose new directions that are inclusive of communities previously shut out of or not prioritized within mainstream society. Both movements also prioritize women and women's experiences. I think where they differ is that while feminism is a multi-issue movement, the mothers movement is prioritizing issues affecting mothers. And perhaps because of the existence of the mother's movement, I think that feminism has slacked on prioritizing mothers. Historically, feminism did a much better job of focusing on the rights of mothers and perhaps it's due to the success and independence of the mothers movement that they are allowed to slack.

MOTHERS: What work/life policies do you think could most open up the full range of opportunities to mothers, and others who parent?

Paid leave seems to be at the top of most people's list. As is, paid leave is left to the discretion of the employer and though if often is in their best interest, without government encouragement most employers opt not to take this initiative on their own. I also think that we have to redefine work to being about "goals accomplished" not necessarily about "hours worked." As is, we emphasize the latter and thus often prolong our days merely to prove that we can or to complete that task. Employees who are given flexibility in determining their work days are often as productive--if not more so, if in part  just to prove that they can be. Employees should be incentived not exclusively with more important titles and more money, but with more autonomy.