Sleep Is for the Weak: the best of the mommybloggers including Amalah, Finslippy, Fussy, Woulda Coulda Shoulda, Mom-101, and More! (a BlogHer Book), from Chicago Review Press, was edited by Rita Arens, who blogs at Surrender, Dorothy.
I saw Rita talk about her struggles to get this book published at the What We Do: Blog to Book Redux session at Blogher 2008, which was lived blogged at Semi-Charmed Life. I admire the hard work it took to get Sleep Is for the Weak out there, and was thrilled that someone finally got a bunch of mom bloggers together to do a “best of” book and put the BlogHer brand on it. It seemed like validation that yes, we mom bloggers are worthy of a printed publication rather than just getting mentioned in the Style section of the New York Times. After hearing the powerful writing that was shared at the BlogHer Community Keynote address the day before at BlogHer 2008, mom bloggers (and some dad bloggers, too) had finally arrived in the realm of serious writing. I’m sure Virginia Woolf and the Bronte sisters would send their regards.
The Best Parts
I started reading it when I got home after the conference. There’s some amazingly good writing in Sleep Is for the Weak. First the fun stuff. I loved Miriam Kamin’s “Mama, Who Invented the Speculum.” The first time I read it on her blog, Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda, the tears were streaming down my face from laughing. And “Corn on the Cam” by Birdie Jaworksi of Birdie’s New Mexico Time Machine was sheer genius. How I wished I was on that adventurous culinary car trip with her and her children. She made it sound like so much fun.
Then there were the powerful posts. Rita sharing her struggles with anorexia and self-hate in “Nicole Ritchie Has Nothing on Me.” Jen Satterwhite of Mommy Needs Coffee sharing “You Can Never Out-Love Your Mom” about her mother dying. And “The Menopausal Hut” by Grace Davis of State of Grace discussing a woman’s need for a hut of one’s own. (In my opinion we all need such a hut, menopausal or not.)
Much of the book contained the type of writing I have trouble creating, the type where the writer bares it all and is very open about her marriage, childhood, children, and herself via her blog. I admire people who can do this, but I can’t because I don’t want people – even the ones closest to me – to know how I’m feeling much of the time. It makes me feel too vulnerable, and my writing suffers for it by being too middle of the road.
The Not So Good Bits
In this way I found Sleep Is for the Weak very inspirational in improving my blogging and writing and getting more open about things. However, Sleep Is for the Weak is not all unicorns and rainbows. It has one serious drawback, too.
On the way out to the BlogHer conference, I read The Maternal Is Political: Women Writers at the Intersection of Motherhood and Social Change. The quality of writing in this book blows Sleep Is for the Weak away. And it’s not because the women in Sleep Is for the Weak are bad writers. Many of them are very talented. No, instead it’s the writing voice they use – the self-depreciation and making fun of their lousy parenting skills and other so-called failings (shoe lust, over spending, depression, lack of organization, and so on).
I saw this attitude at the mommy blogging sessions back at BlogHer 2006. Why can’t women bloggers and moms in general feel better about themselves instead of seeming so unsure of their roles as mothers and writers? Amy Richards covered this in Opting In: Having a Child Without Losing Yourself. (See my interview with Amy Richards at MOTHERS Book Bag) and feels that society gives us a very narrow range of what is acceptable behavior. So when mothers step out of those bounds, women are critical even of themselves.
Oh, it’s in The Maternal Is Political, too, but differently. Instead of I’m stressed out as a mother because society does not support families (e.g. the lack of affordable health insurance, lack of a national laws regarding maternity leave and paid sick leave, etc.) Sleep Is for the Weak gives the message, oh I’m so stressed because I’m such a doofus/crazy person, ha, ha, ha, get me a drink, I can barely dress myself let along parent children! The humor comes off as self-defeating. And ultimately it’s harmful.
The Future for Mom Blogging
It’s time to stop being snaky and get over our bad selves. And I look forward to the follow up to Sleep Is for the Weak (or similar tomes) to do this. Now is the time to invent Mom 3.0. Yes, we need to keep sharing our tales of modern motherhood, but we need to do it in such a way that we inspire, laugh, grow, help others, and ultimately make society better for all moms and their families – and do this all without putting ourselves down. We deserve better than that.
Mom bloggers are you ready for the challenge?
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