I'm not sure why the Hindus decided that Kali the Destroyer of Worlds should be a woman. Because moms everywhere know that the biggest destructive force in the universe is...
Children.
At home.
On summer break.
Bored out of their minds.
They don't want to read. The don't want to watch all the wonderful movies click-comm.com has sent me like The 45th Anniversary Special Edition of the Sword in the Stone
So far this month, not a day has gone by without major house destruction. Mommy's little weapons of mass destruction have:
- broken a vase
- broken a candlestick holder
- spilled black acrylic paint on the carpet and hid the stain
- put a hole in one of the couches
- knocked something off the wall that landed on the couch that made the hole bigger
- made a chocolate milk stain the size of a dinner plate on the carpet behind the couch
- tore a library book page clear out of the book
- left the hose on in the yard for over 24 hours - my husband thinks that part of the yard has now sunk a few inches
- lost a pair of headsets that Sony gave me at the Sony Mom Blogger event last April
- left snack wrappers, socks, pajamas, and panties all over the house
- lost my kitchen scissors
- killed a plant
- spilled yogurt all over the back seat after sneaking it out of the cooler
- changed outfits several times a day
I'm sure there's more, but I'm too shell shocked to remember. Luckily we had a near miss, too.
Lola's Tragic Almost Demise
Yesterday, I walked into Lucie's room and the smell of rotting cheese nearly bowled me over. Ewwww, what was making that smell? I looked around for an old sippy cup of milk. Maybe she had left it under the bed and it had soured. Then I spied Lucie's fishbowl. It was filled with scummy, filthy, stinky water.
I couldn't figure out how it had become so nasty when my husband, Paul had cleaned the other two fish tanks at the same time and they were fine.
Thank goodness her fish "Lola" was ok, though she looked a little bit swollen and discolored. I put her in a clean glass of water, and dumped the icky water down the kitchen sink. It was so bad that I had to light a candle to make the house smell normal again.
When Paul, the resident fish expert, came home, I told him that Lola didn't look very well. "She's not sick. She's FAT!" he said.
A fat fish? Oh I got it now. Lucie, who killed her brother's betta by dumping the entire bottle of fish food in the tank, had been overfeeding Lola. All that poor fish had been doing was eating and pooping. No wonder the water was nasty.
That evening as Lucie was going to bed, Paul explained that Lola, like mom, is on a diet and she was not to feed her fish unless daddy told her it was O.K. (I can take care of not overfeeding myself, thank you, though it is a challenge at times.)
Now if I can only figure out a way to get Lola on the exercise bike with me every morning and lift a few fishy weights. I just know she'd make an excellent exercise buddy.
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